Forgiveness is the foundation of healing, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. In fact, truly forgiving someone (that is, moving on without any energy stuck in the way) takes time, patience, and practice.
I recently shared a story about a forgiveness practice I had to do. There was energy around a traumatic event that kept showing up, especially when something triggered a memory of it. I won’t go into details here (go read that post!) — suffice to say, I was dragging around an emotional powder keg and something had to be done about it.
That something was forgiveness.
Very, very simply said: forgiveness is powerful. In my work with clients and the work I’d experienced with other practitioners, I saw how someone’s whole perspective changes after doing this work.
For me, I knew I needed to make peace with myself as much as I needed to release the other parties involved from responsibility. I also knew I was holding onto some beliefs that weren’t serving me. These were behind thoughts and emotions that weren’t serving me, either.
I knew that peace would only come through putting in the time to actively call up memories, move through pain, and release. I had to release and be released.
In many cases, this sets them up with some beliefs about money that don’t serve them as they’re growing their businesses. These beliefs get in the way of what they are trying to achieve and, often, there is a person or situation that could be forgiven that would open the way for new beliefs and possibilities.
While I don’t practice emotional healing with forgiveness exactly the same way I did years ago, I do use pieces of it with my coaching clients when a situation comes up where the client also feels it might be helpful.
I generate the statements and then they repeat after me. This allows me to assist them in opening up to new possibilities and understand beliefs that they didn’t see before.
The very first thing to do is to forgive. I help them forgive themselves first. More specifically, forgive themselves for their beliefs and actions.
This creates a new level of self-love that then allows energy to move and love to be offered to the other people involved in the situation.
Next, I give them the opportunity to forgive the other person and to allow the other person to forgive them.
This is another way of releasing the emotions that they feel towards the person as well as shame they may feel about their own actions.
After you forgive yourself and move your energy, new opportunities open up.
We don’t end with forgiveness. We end with claiming what’s possible now that we are at peace with this person or situation and it’s behind us.
Work through this practice, or mantra as I’m calling it here, with one situation clearly in mind. I’d advise you to start small! Choose a situation that’s been bugging you recently. Use the following format to formulate statements to support you: (XXX = name) (YYY = action or belief)
I forgive myself for believing that…… (5 or more)
I forgive……. XXX for YYY
I give XXX permission to forgive me for YYY
Without this pattern, I am Free to… YYY
* * * *
What did you notice as you went through this forgiveness practice? What has opened up for you now?
I’d love to hear – share your story in the comments!