Three Ways You're Letting Fear Sabotage Your Life | Robin Barr Coaching

Three Ways You’re Letting Fear Sabotage Your Life

Personal Mindset

February 3, 2020

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Three Ways You’re Letting Fear Sabotage Your Life

Just like sneaky things that are sabotaging your success in business, there are some sneaky things sabotaging your life and your personal success. One of the big ones is fear.

Have you heard of the phrase “Paralysis by analysis”? It’s when you spend so much time thinking (and thinking and thinking) that you don’t actually do anything. The fear of making the “wrong” choice consumes you and prevents you from doing anything.

We have all been afraid and have used that as a reason not to take action. However, inaction is an action. It’s a way to delay your progress until you end up stuck and in a place where no progress can be made.

Alternatively, inaction sends a message to the Universe that you aren’t serious or interested in moving forward, therefore natural roadblocks will appear. Either way, fear is at the heart of these inactions, preventing you from realizing your full potential in life.

These three ways are a few of the most popular ways I see folks let fear take the wheel and drive their business and how you can break free of fear to start living (and thriving in) a life you love.

Letting “Time” Control You (Instead of the Other Way Around)

Time is one of the trickiest areas to change your mindset around because the time excuse is so ingrained in our culture. Just count how many times you respond with “Busy” when someone asks you how you’re doing. I’ve gotta ask (gently, lovingly) what are you busy doing?

I know, you have parents and kids and a household to take care of. You have a lot to do! But could you be using your time more effectively? How would your life change if you decided to put your phone on Do Not Disturb while you’re working, even for an hour. You’d be able to focus on what you’re doing and make real, meaningful progress.

Some fear-and-time sabotages include: Not investing time to get clear on where their fears lie (and how to change their mindset around those fears) and focusing on the wrong stuff at the wrong time (therefore using time you do have on tasks that either won’t move the needle forward or won’t make a difference in a year).

Take control of your time and explore:

  • Where does your time actually go?
  • What fears do you have around time?
  • What’s the underlying cause of your procrastination?
  • How can you start to change your mindset around the concept of “I don’t have enough time”?

By cutting out the distractions on your time, you’ll be able to use time to your advantage and break the shackles of fear masquerading as “not enough time.”

Playing Fast and Loose (Emphasis on Loose) with Your Boundaries

Fear around enforcing boundaries could also be a self-sabotage for you. This is a big one as most anything in your life could benefit from having a boundary around it. For example: time is one area where your boundaries could use a little tightening up.

Another boundary to enforce is no longer letting other parts of your life bleed over into your business. It can be hard to compartmentalize, but just like we did in the corporate world, we need to leave our personal life at the door. You can’t take negative energy into your business and expect good work to come out as a result.

We all want to be loving and kind to our friends and family members who ask us for something. But, occasionally, the kind thing is not actually jumping in to help every time someone asks you for something.

When you lack boundaries on your time and attention, you’re saying no to yourself while saying yes to everyone else. Pretty soon, those no’s will add up to never progressing on what you want to do with your life. I know, I’m painting a bleak picture, but I feel like a hyperbole is necessary here to help you see that boundaries can be loving and good for everyone.

Begin enforcing your boundaries by:

  • Communicating when you will be working and when you will fully and joyfully focus on your family
  • Pausing before responding to sometime and asking, “Could this person find the resolution to their own problem?” If so, wait before you respond.
  • Asking for someone else to help you with a task.

Not Hiring Support

Like time (letting things happen to you) and boundaries (letting others tell you what should be a priority in your life), support (or the lack thereof) is a place where fear lurks and sabotages you.

When there is no one supporting you in a professional way, it’s almost like the blind leading the blind. You spin your wheels, wait and procrastinate, and don’t know how to give yourself a strategic path to follow.

Working with a coach, therapist, or other professional to gain support will break the fear surrounding your life because they will not only see your patterns, but they will be able to give you tools to settle the fear, change your mindset, and focus on moving forward out of fear and into the light.

Self-sabotage and fear are cousins that no one wants to see coming to the family picnic. The good news is: You can work your way out of fear. When you do so, you’ll drop a piece of self-sabotage that’s keeping you stuck in inaction.

How have you been self-sabotaging with fear? Where does your fear trigger lie?

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