Quite often, I hear from my clients that they have a hard time surrendering and trusting that their desires will come to them.
Oh, do I ever hear you! When I left my corporate job, I held the intention that I would leave with severance. As is what happens, we all have free will and while I was freely willing to accept that severance, the company was not interested in giving it to me.
Throughout the course of having conversations regarding the arrangements of my departure, the severance issue caused so much grief in my world. I was frustrated. I went into a place thinking I deserved it. It was such a victim mentality and I was grasping desperately to it being that way.
“My job has clearly ended and yet they’re trapping me here because of money,” is what I was telling myself. By not surrendering to what was clearly before me, I was causing myself so much suffering by holding on to these stories.
At some juncture, I realized I wasn’t going to get what I wanted. So, I decided I couldn’t leave right then. While I was still committed to leaving, I had to play by their rules.
I made a decision to take a three-month unpaid leave of absence (the only such leave I could take without having a child) to process through what I wanted to do next. During that time, I learned to surrender. When I went back, I had my severance option waiting for me.
Now, it wasn’t such a miraculous, linear process (you can read the whole story here). It never is. But here’s the important part of that story: I surrendered.
The Universe clearly knew what I wanted. Further, I spent some of my leave time planning my coaching training and officially started my business.
So, because I stayed open and surrendered to the guidance of the Universe, I was able to see the resonant next step, which was the leave of absence. It was a huge gamble to take it and not be paid.. But that’s part of the surrender piece.
Surrender and trust are the keys. Grasping, constantly pivoting, chasing, and holding on too tightly simply make you have to go ‘round and ‘round until you learn to surrender.
We’re all trained differently about decision-making. Some believe it’s important to keep making decisions. Those folks are pivoting so much, they may as well be Ross Geller moving a couch. For them, it’s hard to breathe and reconnect to their overall intention to listen for guidance.
They’re the folks, like I mentioned above, that keep going in the same circle and get themselves tangled in rigid, “this has to happen this way” thinking.
If that’s you, it’s okay!
Get out of that rigid thinking by slowing down. Use the format I suggest here to move you from rigidity (too much structure) to a more open mind space.
For an action oriented person, what you learn by giving yourself space is to recognize that there are times and places where it’s necessary to make quick decisions with limited info – but no matter what, you will hear the next right step.
When you let your intuition drive, you allow it to expand and surrender for longer so you get a bigger picture of what the next step might be. Then, you let your whole being listen to what’s next instead of your analytical mind listening for confirmation of what it wants to hear and do.
Sit in stillness with your intention. It’ll probably be challenging, but I promise it’s worth it to slow down and surrender to the possibility of what’s next.
Eventually, you’ll get really excited about what you’ve envisioned. Then, you make commitments and go off to show up and do those things. At that point, you’re no longer in control.
Keep reminding yourself that surrendering does not mean you’re giving up. You’re simply letting intuition come in and guide the next step.
Even if you’re trained to make quick decisions, take the information you get from intuition and make the best decision you can.
Some people are more adept at listening to intuition and knowing when there’s enough information to make a decision. Other folks need to practice. Whether you don’t grasp at an outcome or you need to be reminded to slow down and let the guidance of the Universe come, surrender. Trust in the next step coming.